Say yes to things that I know will just end up making me mad and sad?  I accepted an invitation to a BBQ on saturday. The thing that is going to end up pissing me off is that I am going to be the 5th wheel. My friend and her boyfriend and me will be going to another friends place where her fiance will be as well.. Fun filled evening with the 2 couples.

 It just seems like everyone has someone special in thier lives and I'm well completely alone. The only guy in my life past away 3 months ago, and that was my dad. I feel completely alone in this city. I don't have any family here, well I do, but I choose to not associate myself with them. They'll just find some lamo reason to call the police. They have done it before to other family members, so I don't want to be around them. The one friend I do have is constantly bringing her boyfriend along, and well I'm really not in the mood to hang out with her and her boyfriend all that often. It just reminds me that I can't find someone.